DISCERNMENT FOR MEN
“God chooses ordinary men for fatherhood to accomplish His extraordinary plan.”
– G. K. Chesterton
Men desire to be fathers.
Which type of father are you called to be?
Fathers Are Sons First
God has destined you to be a father, but first you are a son. At your baptism you were adopted as a son of God the Father. This is who you are! God is calling you to relate to him as a Father. Growing in your relationship as a son will prepare you to be a generous father like God our Father.
Scripture to pray with: the baptism of Jesus. “You are my beloved son with whom i am well pleased.” Imagine God the father speaking these words over you.
Fathers Make Sacrifices for Their Families
Like Jesus, men are drawn to make a sacrificial gift of themselves for others.
How is Jesus calling you to be a sacrificial gift for others? A Father’s gift of himself gives life to others.
Some men are called to given away as husbands and fathers of an earthly family. These men give life by creating a home where their family is protected and provided for. The gift of themselves to their wife creates new life.
Some men are called to be given away as spiritual fathers or priests. These men give life supernatural life by administering the sacraments and protect this divine life within their children.
Learn about courage, love, and the selfless sacrifice of St. Maximilian Kolbe.
Are You Falling in Love with God?
DISCERNING PRIESTHOOD
SEVEN STAGES OF A DILIGENT DISCERNMENT
STAGE 1: The Initial Call
A man in stage 1 has recently experienced an attraction to priesthood for the first time. This initial stage of discernment often takes place during childhood, perhaps at Mass, in a Catholic school classroom, or when a priest invites a man to consider priesthood.
In this stage, a man feels an initial, mysterious attraction to become a priest, made all the more mysterious since he has almost no information about priesthood, discernment, or seminary.
The primary emotions are excitement and wonder. “Could God really be calling me to be a priest?”
STAGE 2: Latency Period
A man in stage 2 has now been thinking about priesthood for some time, usually a few years, depending on when he entered stage 1. He is not thinking about it every day, however.
Rather, more days pass when he does not think about it at all. The idea surfaces from time to time, usually at Mass, while praying at night, or when another person mentions it. He has not convinced himself that priesthood is a real possibility.
Sometimes a man in stage 2 will prematurely “decide” that he is not being called to priesthood.
STAGE 3: Assessment Period
A man in stage 3 realizes that his attraction to priesthood will not go away, even though he has tried to avoid it.
This man is now making a more serious effort to grow in his faith and prayer life. He may find a spiritual director because he realizes that he needs help discerning. He begins to fight the spiritual battle of surrendering to the will of God; some days he wins the battle, and other days he loses.
This man’s love for God is maturing and he begins to understand the joy of laying down his life for Jesus and his Church. His desire to serve others is growing, and he experiences happiness while serving.
A man in this stage is assessing specific fears now: the fear of celibacy, the fear of not being a holy priest, the fear of loneliness, and the fear of preaching in front of people.
STAGE 4: Discernment Shift
A man in stage 4 is moving quickly towards surrender and resignation to the will of God. He has been faithful to prayer, attended retreats, gathered information, and has come to the conclusion that God is probably calling him to be a priest.
He feels a sense of peace should this be his God-predetermined vocation.
His spiritual director and vocation director are telling him that he has the signs and qualifications. He still may be hoping that God is only calling him to seminary for a year or so, but not to priesthood.
The essential element of stage 4 is the knowledge that discernment cannot proceed any further outside of seminary. He is just spinning his wheels.
STAGE 5: Seminary Discernment
A man in stage 5 has been accepted as a seminarian by his bishop, and the bishop has assigned him to a specific seminary. I usually associate stage 5 with the first two years of seminary, either college seminary or pre-theology.
This is a very important stage in discernment. He now has a developed spiritual plan of life: he is going to Mass every day, praying before the Blessed Sacrament, and seriously studying the faith.
He is living in a seminary, surrounded by other men who are also discerning diocesan priesthood.
STAGE 6: Consistent Peace
This man has been in seminary from two to four years and he has grown tremendously in faith, prayer, knowledge, and generosity. This man knows Jesus personally. He has spent countless hours in prayer and study and he is very capable of teaching others about Christ.
The excitement of those early years in seminary are over and he is now doing the hard work of priestly formation through daily prayer and study. This man is accustomed to the idea that he is very likely going to become a priest.
He knows himself much better now, and knows that he can fulfill the duties of a priest.
STAGE 7: Moral Certitude
Stage 7 begins at the very latest when a man arrives back at the seminary to begin third theology. This is not really a stage of discernment so much as an end to discernment.
A man in stage 7 is no longer asking God if he should become a priest or if he has the gift of celibacy. He is preparing to be ordained a deacon at the end of third theology and then, one year later, a priest. This man has achieved moral certitude that this is God’s will.
He is not absolutely certain, because that is not possible, but he has received every indication that he should become a priest.
Six ways to discern your vocation
How can I know God's plan for my life?
Follow these recommendations, and God will help you to understand what He is calling you to do with your life!
Prayer
Prayer is a conversation with God—not just saying prayers, but speaking to the Lord from your heart. Every day, read the Bible and talk with Jesus as if He were your best friend. Ask Him to reveal His plan for you: “Jesus, I want to want what You want. Here I am Lord; I come to do Your will.” Trust completely that God has a plan for you.
Sacraments
The soul is the window through which we can see God and hear His voice. If the window is dirty because of sin, it must be cleaned through Confession so we can be in union with God. When you receive Communion, ask Jesus to show you your vocation.
good information
It is impossible to discover your vocation without good information. What does it mean to have a holy Christian marriage? What do priests do? What is it like to be a religious sister or brother? Find good information, then take what you have learned back to prayer.
the blessed mother
Mary is the ultimate example of openness to the will of God. Are you open to God’s will for you? Pray three Hail Marys every day, specifically to know your vocation and have the courage to follow it.
go on retreat
Miracles happen on retreats! One of the surest ways to discover God’s plan for you is to enter into silence and prayer over an extended period. Ask your Vocation Director to help you find a good retreat.
get advice
Don’t try to discern your vocation alone, without the help of the Church. Talk to a sister, priest, or deacon you trust.
When the time comes, you must act! Move in the direction your heart tells you, confident that God will never send you where His grace cannot sustain you!
Resources for Discerning
Fr. Brett Brannen, in the book To Save a Thousand Souls, described the ideal parent as one who is at peace with God’s will, who says, essentially, “I will pray for you and support you as you go to seminary… and I will be equally proud of you if discern that you must leave seminary.”
Get a free copy of to save a thousand souls by contacting the vocation office.
Fr. Gallagher helps us understand St. Ignatius of Loyola’s Rules for Discernment and how their insights are invaluable for our spiritual growth today. By integrating the Rules and the experience of contemporary people, Fr. Gallagher shows the precision, clarity, and insight of Ignatius’s Rules. This book is for all who desire greater awareness of God’s action in their daily spiritual lives, and is valuable reading for retreat directors, spiritual directors, priests, and counselors.
Though he speaks no words in Scripture, St. Joseph’s message to us is resounding: he wants to lead us to Jesus. In Through the Heart of St. Joseph, Fr. Boniface Hicks reveals the path St. Joseph has laid.
Discover how St. Joseph’s vulnerability, littleness, silence, and hiddenness can transform and heal us. Fr. Hicks also looks to the saints who lived the “Joseph Option” to show how we too can embrace a life of humble trust and steadfast courage.
Recognizing the strong and gentle fatherhood which our Heavenly Father bestows on us lovingly and daily indefinitely changes the scope of our spiritual lives. Amidst the crisis of fatherhood in today’s society, it is imperative, more than ever, that all men—especially priests—be images of this unfalteringly generous fatherhood of God.
Into the Breach: An Apostolic Exhortation from Bishop Thomas J. Olmsted
Brothers in Christ: Do not hesitate to engage in the battle that is raging around you, the battle that is wounding our children and families, the battle that is distorting the dignity of both women and men. This battle is often hidden, but the battle is real. It is primarily spiritual, but it is progressively killing the remaining Christian ethos in our society and culture, and even in our own homes. The world is under attack by Satan, as our Lord said it would be (1 Peter 5:8-14).